HI Jen thank you for this video: I really want to answer to this because it is so appropriate now for me. I just come out of a very serious fight with a colleague where she actually fought a lot… alone.
I have accepted a role as substitute teahcer in a high school: sometimes I do, I love teens. After helping in every possible way both to keep the teacher’s line and to prepare the students against traps of their final diploma exam (next week) the teacher came and insulted me shouting literally at me in a place where possibly the whole world could listen and accused me of everything (had she had more time she would have probably found connections between me and some of the wars currently fought in the world). But this is not the point: she might even be right (I say might). The worst part of this is that she used the students as a shield. “They said you said….” (thing I didn’t say or were reported out of context). And for the first time in my life I…. didn’t get it personally deep inside. I understood immediately this was only deconstructive and no question I was asking would get a decent answer. I stayed calm (most of the time), explained my points and when I had confirmation this was all coming from a place of crazy jealousy (jealousy of what?) I simply decided to ignore her offering my best smile every time I meet her. This happened on Friday and I didn’t tell a-ny-bo-dy. And you know why? I’ve learned from past experiences that the more you talk about it the bigger it grows and I REFUSED to have her even for a second in my mind in my family weekend.
So this is something I can share. Do not tell it again again as it happens or it continues to happen and spoil your day. Some people are not worth your time and effort.
There’s something more I can share that is often helpful: I did something else, just yesterday last day of my substitution: I proposed that we met BOTH and TOGETHER in front of the (she said) accusing students to solve the problem civilly altogether. So I invited her to enter the classroom (I was very careful to invite her in front of the students ) and she refused strongly. Then I laughed and continued talking to my students of other lovely questions and when I said goodbye they were so cute to give me a warm applause (if they are really so angry with me, they all have a bright future in Holliwood!!). I think that she qualified herself without me intervening at all.
So now she has accused me I am arrogant because I have an Oxford accent (do I Jen? That’s cool! And I’ve never been to Oxford I think), can I be arrogant with all of you? I am PROUD OF MYSELF and how I faced it all without losing my temper. Just one year ago this would never have happened.
Love to all.

Ow jen! I hope you’re feeling better! A lot of the criticism I have received were reflections of limiting beliefs that were old and not true. I would feel a lot of resistance in the form of anger or disappointment when I would get this. In hindsight, I am grateful for it because it always led me to find out things I never knew. I have the tendency to text friends venting about it,then I’d find out something about that friend that makes the criticism not even factually correct! For example, I would get “you need to be _______ to do _______” or “you can’t because you don’t have _________” and it comes out of lack of knowledge on the person’s behalf. I felt resistance before because I too was in ignorance in the topic i was being criticised on. Now I think ” well that’s not true” whenever someone tries to tell me why they think I’m being too “woo woo” or “pie in the sky” because it’s a total realistic dream for me, and very possible! They just don’t have a clue what I know lol.

Jen, you’re a goddess! Thanks for the uplifting message:)

Eek! Hope you’re feeling better, Jen!